A Jar Full of Rocks
“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, unapologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside.”
—Stephen R. Covey
Last Monday, I tried to fit too many rocks in my jar.
OK, let me back up. In one of his books, Stephen Covey tells a story to illustrate a point about prioritization – a professor walks into class one day and proceeds to fill a jar with rocks, then pebbles, then sand, then water, to illustrate that if we don’t make space for the big, important stuff, the small stuff will crowd them out.
On Monday, I tried to fit too many rocks in my jar. Ironically, I literally teach classes on prioritization, and I have my to-do list sorted by priority every day.
Remember Alice in Wonderland? “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.” Yup, I did the work but without actually thinking through the advice I give: what is actually important, and what is truly urgent? Mistaking speed for efficiency, I started frantically running around haunted by my own to-do list, while my emotional regulation flew out the window and my communication skills crashed.
All in service of Being Productive.
Thankfully, I like learning from my mistakes. So, last Tuesday morning came around and I sloooooowed down, and tried the following:
What is on my list today?
✅ What is both Important & Urgent? Do it.
🗓️ What’s important but not urgent? Schedule it.
🤝 What seems urgent, but isn’t actually that important? Renegotiate or delegate it.
🛑 Neither? Delete it.
This slowing down took me all of 5 minutes, and changed the course of my day. Tuesday felt like a different kind of day – calmer, and way more manageable. With better focus and emotional regulation, I didn’t fly off the handle by 8am and start stress-sassing my husband. (Perhaps “being nice to your life partner” deserves some first billing on the important/urgent equation). I even built in some time for movement and fun!
💡 What did I learn? Honestly, nothing I didn’t already know. Yet, I was reminded of some valuable guidelines:
When feeling frantic or overwhelmed: PAUSE and reprioritizebefore taking action
Important doesn’t always mean it’s urgent, and urgency is sometimes more negotiable than we think
Time Blocking – planning not just what’s on the list, but planning for when it will happen in your day
Maybe you’re better at this prioritization thing than I am, and your emotions don’t go haywire when you’re overwhelmed. Bravo! And, if you sometimes could use a reminder to pause and plan, here it is. Besides, tomorrow is another day – and another glass jar to fill as you please. 🫙
Bonus: How do I decide?
Sometimes I’ll get asked how to determine what we define as important vs urgent, since it can be subjective. Here’s some quick tips to help you out:
Important:
Work: Directly impacts my career objectives or client needs
Home: High stakes that impact my partner/family life
Self: Directly impacts my well-being & health
Urgent
There is a hard deadline that cannot be moved, and that has repercussions to me or those I care about
That deadline is at some point today
🧐 What other parameters help you prioritize? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
